about the author

oh dear. uh, this is awkward. i’m Cass. the legal name’s really more of a punch line rather than a regular appellation. nice to meet you! this is a page about me. i come from and currently dwell in the delightfully uninteresting german land of lower saxony. my pronoun, in english, is «it». alternatively you may also use spivak pronouns, that is «e/eir/em», or, if that’s too newfangled for you, «they/them»¹. auf deutsch benutze ich das normale neutrum-pronomen es.

beside these extremely interesting attributes i also have a profound dislike for talking about myself, so here’s a selection of personal but third-party testimonials about yours truly instead:

• “cursed zoomer”
• “Cass is the only person i respect here”
• “best waffle”
• “I rarely see Cass speak, like not even defending them”
• “the single most level headed and reasonable person we know”
• “cass is a secret onion editor” — “i unironically would believe that to be true, i don’t know why but it makes so much sense to me”
• “Every time you post it’s like getting a fleeing glimpse of something in the black waters of the ocean at night and going ‘I’m glad I didn’t have to see the rest of whatever the fuck that was’, your mind is an enigma to me”
• “don’t know what you’re on 90% of the time but i want some” and finally
• “THANK YOU CASS I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOUR DELUSIONS OF ENLIGHTENMENT”